(Artist: Eric Lacombe)
My thoughts are with Elder Hamula and his family as they process his excommunication. This has brought back painful memories and I have cried over the news. Excommunication from the LDS Church is the most serious form of discipline.
My thoughts are with Elder Hamula and his family as they process his excommunication. This has brought back painful memories and I have cried over the news. Excommunication from the LDS Church is the most serious form of discipline.
As Elder
Ballard described in A Chance to Start
Over: Church Disciplinary Councils and the Restoration of Blessings, “Excommunicated
persons are no longer members of the Church. Therefore, they are denied
privileged of Church membership including wearing of the temple garments and
the payment of tithes and offerings” . . . “they are not entitled to offer
public prayers or give talks. They may not hold a Church position, take the
sacrament, vote in the sustaining of Church officers, hold a temple recommend,
or exercise the priesthood.”
It still
surprises me that at the time a person needs community and the blessings of
communal sacrament the most is when they are rejected and denied it. When a
person is excommunicated, yet is still a believer, there are serious
psychological consequences when a perceived eternal family member is removed
from the family.
I know this,
because I lived this. As
I have mentioned before, my father was excommunicated on Easter Sunday when
I was 14 years old. He was not fully reinstated into the Church until I was an
adult and was already sealed to another priesthood holder, my husband. For an
extended period our family did not have an ordained priesthood holder in our
home; I had no brothers or close male family members that I could rely on for
priesthood access. My mother, two sisters, and I learned to navigate LDS
patriarchy without an ordained patriarch. There were many injuries along the
way—stories that are not mine to share. However, I know what is feels like to
be shunned, ignored, avoided, rejected, pitied, and patronized by my community for
mistakes that had nothing to do with me.
I have
written about my concerns of being a member of a patriarchal religious
community here, here,
here,
here,
here, here, here,
here,
here,
here,
here,
here,
and here.
I have written about it at Feminist Mormon
Housewives, Ordain
Women, Rational
Faiths, and The
Transfigurist. I have discussed it at A
Thoughtful Faith Podcast, and the Mormon
Transhumanist Association Conference. I will keep voicing this concern
until this issue gets resolved. People, often women, are still unnecessarily
suffering at the hands of patriarchy, especially in regard to excommunication.
It has been
over 20 years since my father’s excommunication, and our family is still
healing from the trauma. For me, part of that healing processes is ordaining
women to the priesthood. Women cannot receive the fullness of the gospel and
full participation of the LDS community without it. There is no other way. We
are taught to be self-reliant, but are denied the tools to do it. We are taught
we have priesthood authority, but are denied ordination. We are taught to give
our time, talents, and service, but we are denied our fullest, sincerest participation.
We are taught to nurture, care for, teach our children, but we are denied full participation
in their priesthood ordinances.
My mother
could not baptize us, confirm us members of the Church, give us blessings of
healing, stand as a witness at my temple sealing, or fully participate in
priesthood rituals with her six grandchildren. There is no reason why she
shouldn’t be able to have the communal priesthood authority to bless the lives
of her children and grandchildren. There is no reason she should have to ask
another man to come into our home to bless her three daughters when she was a
worthy and capable woman.
This is not
about shaming anyone, airing dirty laundry, or sharing intimate details about
people’s personal lives, history, or mistakes. This is meant to illustrate
there is real harm in the patriarchal governance of the LDS Church, especially
in relation to excommunication. The same mistakes keep happening. Women are
still hurting due to the faults of patriarchal priesthood holders. Women are
still denied LDS autonomy and it won’t change until we confront these issues openly,
honestly, and compassionately. Change happens when a person in the community is
brave enough to raise their hand and say, “Something bad is happening to me and
it’s not my fault. Please, let’s fix this.” Change doesn’t happen when the
community responds by saying “Put your hand down. You’re being negative, when
you should have more gratitude. Your experiences and concerns aren’t worthy of
consideration or can be patronizingly placated.” Change happens when people acknowledge
that real people in their community are silently suffering due to inequitable
policies and power imbalances. I do not think female ordination will solve all
our problems with regards to excommunication, but it’s a start.
As for Elder Hamula, the details of his or
anyone else’s excommunication are none of our business (unless law enforcement
is necessary). Being excommunicated from the LDS Church can bring a complete
sense of loss and hopelessness. I’m not being melodramatic when I say the
disillusionment of eternal family sealings can bring people to absolute
meaninglessness and suicide. I hope the Hamula family will find healing and
comfort with one another. My heart bleeds with them, especially his family
members that will suffer from this through no fault of their own. Elder Hamula
and his family have a long road ahead of them, and I offer my solidarity, love,
and support.
*Published at Ordain Women on Sunday August 20, 2017
*Published at Ordain Women on Sunday August 20, 2017